I’ve typed out and deleted this first sentence at least thirty six times. Finding the right words to accurately discribe what I’m feeling is impossible at the moment. You’ve defied the odds for me. I’ve always thought I was doomed to spend the rest of my life married to someone like my father. Although a strong headed man who has always provided for his family, constantly bringing down the ones he loves, mainly the women in his life. This curse my father carries was brought upon him by his father, just as my grandfather was cursed by my great grandfathers mentality and actions. But then here you came, like the first day of sunshine after months of grey skies. You warmed my cold skin and brought hope to the hopelessness that I was so ready to be accustomed to. You’ve made a believer out of a cynic. 

My high school psychology teacher told me that when I marry I will either choose a man just like my father and continue the curse of contentment, or that I’ll do the complete opposite and marry a man who respects his wife, and sees her as an equal rather than an inferior. I never knew how this would work considering I’ve always been attracted to the men identical to my father, men that would bring me down and constantly abuse me in a twisted manipulated fashion. I thought I was hopeless, and my fate was sealed. I accepted this and was ready to settle for unhappiness. But defying all I was ready to believe, you saved me. You’re the strongest man I know, but also the kindest. You’re my perfect medium. I wonder every day why you even care for me, but then I have to remind myself that I am good enough. I am worthy of love. I’m holding on to this for as long as you’ll let me until our time has come. Unless it doesn’t come.. a girl can dream, can’t she? 

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  • Notes: 5
  • Posted: 30 October 2012

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